“I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore”, The Quiet Ache of the Mother Wound
You might look like you’re doing okay from the outside.
Holding it all together. Getting through your days.
Smiling when you need to. Caring for everyone else.
Being “fine.”
But inside?
You might feel lost. Unseen. On edge. Full of doubt.
Like you’re not fully in your life, just performing in it.
Like no one really knows you.
Like you’ve lost something… but you can’t name what.
What If It Wasn’t About What Happened, But What Didn’t?
Maybe you had a mother who was present, even loving.
Maybe you had a mother who was overwhelmed, distracted, or gone too soon.
Maybe she was doing her best, but her best left you feeling like too much, or not enough.
Maybe she adored you, but didn’t really see you.
Didn’t meet you where you were.
Didn’t hold space for your feelings, your voice, or your needs.
That’s not just a memory.
It becomes a body memory. A nervous system pattern.
A quiet ache that shows up in adulthood as:
Over-giving and people-pleasing
Staying small to keep the peace
Struggling to trust others or to rest
Holding back tears for no clear reason
Feeling lost in relationships, work, or motherhood
Feeling like you're “too much” or “not enough” all at once
Addictive behaviours, often hidden
This is what many women carry without even realising:
a wound that began before they had words for it.
What You’re Feeling Isn’t a Flaw. It’s a Sign.
Psychotherapist Kelly McDaniel calls this “Mother Hunger”, the longing for nurture, protection, and guidance that wasn’t met.
And it doesn’t always come from outright trauma.
It comes from the slow erosion of feeling unseen.
The way you learned to abandon your own needs to feel safe or loved.
That wound doesn’t stay in childhood.
It follows you into your adult relationships, your parenting, your career, and your inner dialogue.
But here’s the part most women don’t realise:
You’re patterned this way.
And those patterns were your body’s best attempt at belonging.
But your patterns are changeable.
If You’re Reading This, You’re Likely Already Tired of Surviving
Tired of performing calm while chaos brews underneath.
Tired of being the strong one.
Tired of doing what others think they’re too busy for.
Tired of never really feeling met.
This is the invisible burnout so many women carry:
Not just physical exhaustion, but emotional depletion from years of giving while never quite feeling safe to, or knowing how to, receive.
Therapy can be a turning point.
Not to fix you.
But to meet you.
To help you gently untangle the old threads of shame, silence, and survival.
To come back to your body. Your voice. Your inner truth.
This Is What I Do, It’s Sacred Work
In my practice, I work with women who are intuitive, deep-feeling, considered, and ready to stop performing peace and start feeling it.
We work gently, slowly, and deeply.
Together, we trace the roots, not to rehash the past, but to free your future.
To help you feel safe in your own body again.
To be able to rest. To soften. To be you, unfiltered.
Ready to explore this more gently, with support?
You’re welcome to book a one-on-one session, or join Held — a women’s circle designed to meet you where you are, and guide you home to yourself.
Held: A Therapeutic Circle for Women
A calm, nourishing space to regulate your nervous system, soften emotional overwhelm, and reconnect with the woman within — in community.
Learn more about Held → HERE
