Why Do I Get Triggered So Easily? Understanding the Body’s Hidden Memories
Have you ever found yourself reacting far more strongly than the situation seems to call for?
Maybe a loved one says something small and you suddenly feel shut down, panicked, or furious. Or you find yourself snapping at your children, partner, or colleagues, and later wonder Why did that feel so big for me?
This is one of the most common questions I hear from clients:
“Why do I get triggered so easily?”
You’re not reactive or “too sensitive.” It has to do with how the body remembers our earliest experiences, long before we had words. These are called implicit memories. And they hold powerful clues to why we feel what we feel today.
The Body Remembers What the Mind Cannot
When most people think of memory, they think of birthdays, school days, or the person who taught them to ride a bike. That kind of memory is called explicit memory, it’s conscious, verbal, and easy to recall.
But there’s another kind of memory, one that begins forming before we are even born. This is implicit memory, memory stored in the body itself. It shows up in our sensations, breathing, posture, and emotional responses.
Unlike explicit memory, implicit memory doesn’t need words or images. In fact, it’s formed in the earliest stages of life, when the body is developing in the womb, during birth, and in infancy (Firestone, 2020). This means our nervous system carries imprints of our earliest experiences, even though we can’t “remember” them in the usual sense (Lipton, 2005).
Why Triggers Feel So Immediate
One of the hardest parts of implicit memory is that when it gets activated, it doesn’t feel like the past. It feels like right now. As Daniel Siegel (2020) explains, “We simply enter these engrained states and experience them as the reality of our present experience.”
Take birth, for example.
A baby may experience the strong squeeze of contractions as overwhelming. If labour-inducing drugs, such as synthetic oxytocin was used to intensify those contractions, the pressure was even greater. And if an epidural was given, the mother’s pain eased, but the baby still felt everything.
Months later, that same baby is rushed through a nappy change because Mum is stressed and in a hurry. To the baby’s body, this sense of being “pushed along too fast” feels familiar, like the overwhelm of birth. They cry with an intensity that seems far “too big” for the moment.
Fast forward decades. That baby is now an adult who feels panicked under deadlines, or whose chest tightens whenever someone says, “Hurry up.” They may even avoid opportunities they want, because their body still whispers an old message: If I move forward too fast, it will hurt.
This is implicit memory at work, shaping triggers in the present, even when the original experience is long past.
Everyday Echoes of Early Life
Implicit memory doesn’t only show up in infancy. It threads into adult life in ways that can feel puzzling:
Separation at birth: A baby who spent time in neonatal care may grow into an adult who feels panicked when a partner doesn’t reply to messages, or deeply hurt when left out of social plans.
Breathing struggles: A newborn who struggled for breath may later feel short of breath when speaking up at work, even though they “know” they are safe.
Absorbing overwhelm: A baby who sensed emotional stress in their mother during pregnancy may grow into an adult who feels compelled to rescue others, even at their own expense.
Overwhelm in chaos: A baby exposed to invasive medical procedures may later find busy supermarkets or loud workplaces unbearable, without knowing why.
These patterns are the body’s memory of how it first learned to survive.
The Body’s Language of Triggers
Implicit memory doesn’t speak in words. It speaks through the body:
sudden tension or collapse
shutting down or snapping unexpectedly
shallow breath or a racing heartbeat
a surge of shame, fear, or anger that feels out of proportion
When we recognise these moments as echoes of the past rather than flaws of the present, everything begins to soften. We can approach our triggers with curiosity instead of self-blame.
How Healing Happens
Because implicit memories live in the body, they don’t shift through logic alone. You can’t just “talk yourself out of it.” Healing happens through felt sense experience, slowing down, noticing what arises, and allowing the body to process what it couldn’t complete at the time.
This is why somatic based therapies, EMDR, and pre- and perinatal work can be so transformative. They provide a safe space for the nervous system to release old imprints and take in new experiences of calm, safety, and belonging.
People often describe the result as feeling lighter, more grounded, and more themselves, as if a hidden weight has finally lifted.
The Healing Power of Relationship
If you’re exploring these patterns in therapy, it isn’t just the techniques that matter, it’s the therapeutic relationship itself.
So much of what heals happens implicitly, through being cared for, seen, and understood. When you feel truly heard, when your therapist adapts to your needs rather than imposing something on you, your body takes in a new experience:
I am safe. I am cared for. I matter.
Over time, these relational experiences become part of your implicit memory too. They slowly rewire the deeper templates of anxiety, self-esteem, and belonging, not just in your mind, but in your whole body.
This is the quiet, powerful work of therapy: a relationship that heals from the inside out.
Want to explore this gently, in community?
I created Held for exactly this reason — an online therapeutic space where sensitive women can complete the stress cycle in a slow, supported, body-led way.
Learn more or book your place to be Held here →