Why Do I Still Feel Anxious When I Know I’m Safe?

Understanding Body-Based Anxiety & How Somatic EMDR Supports Real Relief

Have you ever had this moment?

You’ve got a quiet evening ahead. There’s nothing urgent, nothing wrong. But your body is humming with unease, like a low-level alarm that just won’t turn off. You might think, “I should be fine. Why can’t I relax?”

If so, you’re in good company. This is something I hear often from people in therapy. And it makes perfect, biological sense.

Your anxiety isn't irrational.
Your body just hasn’t caught up to your mind, yet.

Anxiety Isn’t Just in Your Head, It’s Stored in Your Nervous System

So many of us have learned to think our way out of anxiety: through affirmations, cognitive therapy, mindfulness apps, journaling. These can be helpful. But sometimes they only go so far.

That’s because anxiety isn’t just mental, it’s physiological.
It’s not just a thought you’re having.
It’s a felt experience your body hasn’t yet had a chance to resolve.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, describes how trauma is stored in the body and expressed through changes in the biological stress response; our breath, heart rate, muscles, digestion, posture, and pain responses (van der Kolk, 2014).

So even if your thinking mind knows you’re safe, your nervous system may still be bracing for an impact shaped by past experiences, often ones you may not consciously remember.

Sometimes this wiring begins early in life, potentially before birth. Even before we had words, our bodies learned patterns of protection. But what helped us survive then can create chronic anxiety now: trouble sleeping, emotional overwhelm, feeling wired but tired, panic attacks or a sense that something’s always just… off.

What Is Somatic EMDR — and Why Is It So Helpful for Anxiety?

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a well-researched therapy that uses bilateral stimulation, like eye movements or gentle tapping, to help the brain process unhealed experiences (Shapiro, 2018).

Somatic EMDR builds on this by weaving in the body’s wisdom. It gently tracks what your nervous system is holding, through sensations, breath, tension, imagery, and invites healing from the inside out.

This isn’t about reliving trauma.
It’s about completing what got stuck.
It’s about creating safety in your body in the here and now, slowly, kindly, and in connection.

As Dr. Pat Ogden and her colleagues describe, somatic work allows us to gently complete protective responses that were interrupted (Ogden, Minton & Pain, 2006). So rather than “thinking your way” out of anxiety, you feel your way into grounded presence, at the pace your system can safely allow.

What Might That Look Like?

Maybe you notice tightness in your chest, or a flicker of dread with no obvious cause. In a Somatic EMDR session, we wouldn’t dive straight into story or memory. We’d begin with that sensation, simply noticing it with care.

From there, we follow your body’s cues. We might use gentle tapping, slow bilateral movements, or grounding imagery. We always go at your nervous system’s pace. You don’t have to speak about the past in detail, or even remember it. Your body already knows what it's holding.

This work isn’t about pushing or fixing.
It’s about allowing.

And through that allowance, something long-held can soften. Even begin to shift.

The Benefits of Somatic EMDR Therapy

Clients often describe this work as deeply relieving, like finally getting to rest in their own skin. Over time, Somatic EMDR may help you:

  • Ease chronic anxiety and internal pressure

  • Feel more regulated, steady, and present

  • Improve sleep, digestion, and emotional resilience

  • Release people-pleasing, hyper-vigilance, or overthinking

  • Process attachment wounds or trauma without overwhelm

  • Build a gentle, grounded sense of inner safety

  • Respond more calmly and consciously to life’s challenges

You’re Not “Overreacting.” You’re Over-Adapting

Anxiety can show up in quiet ways: over-preparing, over-caring, over-giving.
It’s not that something is wrong with you.
It’s that your body has learned to protect you brilliantly, fiercely, and hasn’t had the chance to stop.

With Somatic EMDR, you don’t need to fight your anxiety.
You can listen to it, tend to it, and lovingly release what’s been held for far too long.

This work is not just about coping.
It’s about healing at the roots.

Ready to Begin?

I offer one-on-one Somatic EMDR therapy, both online and in-person. You're welcome to get in touch with any questions or book a session directly via my website.

You don’t have to carry this alone anymore. There’s a gentler way forward.

Longing for a soft place to land?

Held: Emotional Resilience Circles
A soothing, small-group space to gently regulate your nervous system, ease anxiety, and reconnect with steadiness — in community.

Join the waitlist now → HERE

Jemma Doak

MEET JEMMA DOAK

Jemma Doak is a registered psychotherapist, counsellor, and Somatic EMDR practitioner. With a calm, intuitive presence and advanced training in integrative, body-based approaches, Jemma supports individuals navigating anxiety, trauma, life transitions, and the emotional terrain of conception, pregnancy, parenting, and beyond.

Blending science with somatic wisdom, Jemma helps clients gently unravel old patterns, reconnect with their inner strength, and experience meaningful change at their own pace, in a way that feels safe and empowering.

WORK WITH JEMMA

Therapy sessions are available both in-person and online.

Visit our website or email jemma@jemmadoak.com to learn more or book a session.

https://www.jemmadoak.com
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